Showing posts with label Teen behavior. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teen behavior. Show all posts

Monday, August 23, 2010

The best ways to deal with your teenagers

dealing with teenagersAdolescence, the period between childhood and adulthood, is often a difficult time, both for parents and their children.

This is when young people establish an identity of their own, separate themselves from their parents, and create significant relationships outside their own families.

Many parents experience 'mourning' for this loss of their child as they adjust to the moody, obstinate person who has taken his or her place. Teenagers may also be mourning the loss of their own childhood and family relationships of earlier years.

It is important to keep the situation in perspective. Adolescence is an essential rite of passage which every adult has been through. Think back to your own teenage years: How did you rebel? What were your clothes like? Did your parents complain about the music you listened to? In short, were your experiences, attitudes and relationships really that much different from what's taking place with your own adolescent?

Parents' major task is to let teenagers grow up and become independent, learning to make the decisions that affect their own lives.

Limits need to be set, but within those boundaries there must be room for adolescents to spread their wings and get a sense of who they are and who they want to become. They will reject some excellent advice along the way - but that's part of growing up. Fortunately, many of the values parents instilled prior to adolescence will survive.

Below are some basic rules for parents that can help minimize the inevitable stresses that occur as teenagers assert themselves.

listenAlways listen, even when you're on different sides of the fence.

Don't confuse the thing that bothers you with the person who has done it.

At times you'll feel annoyed and angry by your teenager's behavior. Every parent does. It doesn't mean you've stopped loving your youngster. It probably means exactly the opposite - that you care. Keep your anger focused on their actions, not on them as human beings.

Avoid constant criticism, no matter how much your teenagers' behavior or appearance annoys you.

Just ignore insignificant incidents. With bigger issues, let them know that although you disagree, you respect their right to hold a different opinion.

Look for opportunities to pay honest compliments.

kidsTake an interest in what your teenager is doing.

When disagreements arise, try to find a compromise both sides can accept. At worst, you should agree to disagree.

Don't preach and don't nag. Be careful about saying things like, 'When I was your age'. You probably had more in common with your teenager than you'd care to admit.

Expect to become the target of blame - the one responsible for all their difficulties, not letting them grow up and have fun.

Don't take most of this criticism to heart. And don't give up on your teenager. Teenagers are watching, listening and learning more than you may think.

Extreme mood swings are quite normal at this age. Partly due to hormonal changes but also in response to the anxieties so common during this time of life.

By late adolescence most teenagers feel much more comfortable spending time with their parents. If you've treated them fairly and consistently, and given them room to grow, they will leave adolescence and enter adulthood with family ties intact.

Remember that your teens won't remember their infancy or early childhood years but they will remember their teenage years. Do your best to cultivate warm memories that both of you can appreciate down the road. And, to make remembering a little easier, don't forget to take pictures!

Top 5 Questions and Answers on "Deal With Your Teenagers"

1. Q: What are effective strategies for dealing with teenage rebellion?
Answer: Open communication, setting boundaries, and showing empathy can help.

2. Q: How can parents maintain a healthy relationship with their teenagers?
Answer: By actively listening, avoiding judgment, and finding common ground.

3. Q: What should parents do when their teenagers push boundaries?
Answer: Stay patient, provide guidance, and enforce consequences when necessary.

4. Q: How can parents support their teenagers' quest for independence?
Answer: Encourage responsible decision-making and grant appropriate freedoms.

5. Q: What role does understanding adolescence play in parenting teenagers?
Answer: Recognizing it as a normal developmental phase can help parents navigate challenges with greater empathy and patience.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Discuss with your kid about the Financial Crisis

The one bright side to our country’s current economic meltdown is that it is forcing parents to sit down and discuss money matters with their kids.

Have you had a talk with your kids yet?

You might have if you recently cancelled a planned family vacation in order to pay the mortgage or if you disconnected the cable in order to pay for food.

Our nation’s current economic crisis has forced millions of parents from coast-to-coast to look for ways to cut household costs and in most cases those decisions impact even the youngest members of the family.

For example, if your child is used to having three juices to choose from on a daily basis and now all you can offer him is water or if he was used to being driven to soccer practice each day and now you are forcing him to ride his bike there, he is going to want to know what’s going on.

Child psychologists say it’s important to talk to your children about the current state of our economy and address the financial decisions you are making that impact them, but in a way that won’t frighten or panic kids.

Experts also note that if you and your spouse speak openly about your financial woes in front of your children (either consciously or unconsciously) they might sense your stress and become worried.

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